


faucium

by gabriphales



Series: gomens drabble hell [64]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Eating Disorders, Graphic Description, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self-Harm, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:47:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25345678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabriphales/pseuds/gabriphales
Summary: aziraphale purges. gabriel is there to help
Relationships: Aziraphale/Gabriel (Good Omens)
Series: gomens drabble hell [64]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1664713
Kudos: 23





	faucium

his fingers feel like they're carving marble in the back of his throat. sculpting, shaping, _defining._ making something lovely out of worn-down stone. he struggles with it for a moment, the simple press - _one, two, three; don't breathe._ and his stomach clenches like it's holding him from the inside, trying to comfort his pains, this self-inflicted agony.

it burns. aziraphale had known it would burn. hot in his throat, sour on his tongue. a searing reminder of all his indulgence. _this is what food turns into in the end,_ he reminds himself. _this is what you enjoy so much._

and as he disgusts himself with the thought, he feels a little pride in his success.

"aziraphale!" 

there's pounding at the door. hard enough to make the doorknob rattle, the lock mechanism inside surely trembling for its dear, endangered life. aziraphale's head seems to throb with every knock, getting louder as the sound turns from sharp to dull. the change from tide-testing knuckles, to a fully concerned fist.

aziraphale groans, palms pressed to his temples, trying to work the ache out with his fingers. "i'm fine!" he shouts, louder than intended. his voice comes out crackly, rough around the edges. lord help him, he's _utterly_ screwed.

"i fucking heard you throwing up, let me in!" 

aziraphale flinches. of course gabriel would be this coarse with him - he only gets worse the more nervous he is. with crooked wrists and trembling hands, he unlocks the bathroom door. gabriel is upon him in an instant.

"don't _scare_ me like that, i was so - so worried." his disposition beelines from pointed edges to a dull blade. there's nothing left in him to be angry, not with aziraphale scooped up in his arms, pressed to his chest like a cradled infant. aziraphale shushes him, kissing at his head, listening attentively to every sniffle and spurted choke he lets out. he's rewarded in turn with hands on his back, stroking up between his shoulder blades. so soft, so smooth. perfectly grounding in weight.

"i'm sorry. i know i shouldn't yell, it's really not your fault at all." gabriel tucks him closer, and the surge of his breath that carves a path down the nape of aziraphale's neck is a tired comfort. he tries to breathe in time with him, catching on every inhale. it just barely works.

"it's okay," aziraphale tells him. "don't apologize, 's not your fault either."

"do you need someone to hold onto getting in the shower? i can help clean up - or do it for you, if that's better." 

aziraphale smiles - the crease in his brows too telling of his exhaustion. "i'm alright, dearest. get some rest yourself, you look terribly worn-out."

he strokes his thumb over a purple under-eye, just to drive home his point. gabriel listens about as well as he always does. that being; taking aziraphale's hand, grasping it in his own, and laying kisses tender enough upon his knuckles and palm to distract him from his original intent.

"i will," gabriel says. "when i know you're alright."

"i'm fine." aziraphale insists. "you don't have to coddle me."

the tension that strikes in the back of his throat - a warning and precursor of more bile to come - speaks otherwise. aziraphale clamps a hand over his mouth, shivering fiercely. with that in view, gabriel refuses to let go of him.

"here, let me take you to bed." he says, hooking an arm under aziraphale's knees, and plucking him off the floor.

"i don't think i'm in any sort of mood for that tonight."

"no, no, that's not what i mean." gabriel laughs, warm in a way that washes gently over aziraphale, soothing the sharp, silver-bladed stabbing in his head. 

"i'll get you a bucket too. just want you more comfortable."

aziraphale giggles as gabriel struggles with opening the bedroom door, eventually giving into temptation, and reaching out to unlock it himself. with little grandeur, he's placed on the bed. laid down as if he were a nervous, fidgety animal. gabriel presses a kiss to his forehead, murmuring something quiet - "i'll be right back," - before leaving aziraphale to himself

and when he comes back in to find that aziraphale has already fallen asleep, pink and peaceful where he lays, gabriel feels nothing but absolute relief.

**Author's Note:**

> this was supposed to be longer but oh well oopsie doopsie i did a little fucky wucky


End file.
